its over

life's a wreck.

anticlimax;

Is pretty much the understatement of the year. Yes, that is how I feel, seeing how I've been slapped an in-your-face deluge of endless rejection letters. It's almost poetic when they tell you that the last letter i receive is a waitlist. sigh.
I am now trying to arrange interviews with nus and smu law faculties, attempting to secure a good degree here. I know, you all are laughing at me, seeing my high and lofty aspirations cut down and now having to do what everyone else is doing. fuck.

I am however, unrepentant and am going to try to apply for other schools next year. heh.

It's a rare break for us. I think after days of sleeping at 11 plus they have decided to give us a break. ahahah nice!

rosetorn

It's another lovely saturday night and I'm sitting in in my bedroom again. It's such a lovely place with all the photos of my loved ones, giftss, watches, soft toys, gadgets and other paraphenalia that are scattered across my table. It might look like crap to you but hey, its my crap.

As i read the letters, I realised how each one of them might sound silly when read by other people but they all contain memories. Memories which i hope i never forget cause they really bring a smile to my face when i read it.

Have I done something stupid? time will tell.

Saw this off somewhere

It's ok to be angry, and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know.
When you get lonely and no one's around
you know that i'll catch you when no one's around
weekends together but you left your home
and i know how it feels like to walk all alone
maybe someday i will see you again
and you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend.

shortlived;

The book out was

reminisce

It seems so long ago when we were two wide eyed teens eagerly planning for a bright azure future.

That's gone now.

realize

It's never easy easy trying to adjust to something. Especially when the world you know has collapsed and changed into something that you don't know.

Today was Parent's visiting day and I got to see my family again after 2 weeks of jail. I missed them. The questions were predictable but I could see that they were proud of me and what I have done. I guess that should give me sufficient motivation to last through the next months.

I feel weirdly empty and I don't really know how to describe this. Friends which I have painstakingly bonded to are transferred to other wings which means I probably will never see them again. It's amazing what doing 2 weeks of shit together can do for team spirit.
They are leaving tmr after the junior bar presentation. It's gonna be 2 white bars on my shoulders on monday.

I have been hearing many horror stories about whats gonna happen tonight. I'M PREPARED. yeah right.


I hope you're alright.

smashed

Hello all! can you believe it, we get computers in our bunks at ocs?

Sigh. OCS really sucks. Every day is a struggle and its mentally exhausting.


Received horrid news. Harvard, Yale, chicago and cornell rejected me. Fuck.